


Pieced Together

by Syntaxeme



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gem Fusion, Insecurity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 08:19:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4514691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syntaxeme/pseuds/Syntaxeme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soon after Garnet has forgiven Pearl for what she did with Sardonyx, Pearl is still working on getting over the issues that prompted it in the first place. She wants to keep her pain to herself, but Garnet recognizes that there's a simple way for her to understand and, hopefully, to help. [ Only slightly shippy. ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pieced Together

“I thought you two made up; why’s she still holed up in her room?” Even if she asked, Amethyst didn’t seem especially concerned. She lay on the couch, snacking and kicking her legs behind her as she watched Garnet watching the Temple door. “Man, I was really ready for you guys to stop acting weird.”

“She seemed fine,” Garnet said. “Until we came back. I don’t understand.”

“Think you should go talk to her?”

“…maybe.”

“Hey, if it helps, you can go through my room,” Amethyst suggested, getting up to open the door herself. “It’s pretty easy to get up to hers from in there.” Garnet remained where she stood for a moment longer before walking past Amethyst into her room.

“Thanks,” she said.

“Yeah, no probs,” Amethyst muttered as the door shut behind her. “Just make her be normal again.”

Garnet knew the Temple well enough to make her way from Amethyst’s room to Pearl’s within a few minutes. Yet when she did, she found it quieter than expected, too still. Pearl hadn’t come out of her room for almost two days after their last failed attempt to capture Peridot; she must have been in there. Garnet didn’t call out to her, instead searching each platform, coming up empty time and again and being forced to search farther and farther from the room’s entrance. Finally, she spotted a thin figure standing motionless in the center of one pool, arms wrapped tightly around herself.

“Pearl.” She flinched when she heard Garnet’s voice but didn’t turn to look at her.

“Yes? Did you need something?” she asked.

“You’ve been gone for a while. What’ve you been doing in here?”

“Just. Thinking,” Pearl muttered haltingly.

“About you and me?”

“Sometimes. Not always. I know—that is, I think I know—you aren’t angry anymore. But I still don’t….” She paused for a slow, deep breath, then let it out all at once, deflating a bit. “I’ve thought about what you said, and I’m trying to accept it and use it to better myself, but I just don’t…I don’t feel strong enough.” Her grip on her arms tightened, fingertips digging into her skin as if the discomfort would keep her grounded. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to bother you, any of you, with this any more than I already have.” She shook her head, blinked away her tears, and put on a much-practiced and very convincing smile. When she turned to assure Garnet that she would be all right, however, she found her hand proffered.

“Then let me share it, instead,” Garnet said, calm as ever.

“No.” Pearl frowned and took a step back. “I don’t want you to do this just to comfort me. It won’t fix anything.”

“I’m not. I want to help, but I can’t do that unless I understand,” Garnet said. “It’s not easy for anyone to admit having a weakness. But it’s not something you get over, and there’s no way to just ‘fix’ it. It takes work. Practice. It’s easier when you know you’re not alone.” Her hand stayed steady, an offer hanging in the distance between them. Pearl didn’t answer right away, but after a few moments, she stepped forward, light and hesitant, to place her hand in Garnet’s.

“Okay.” 

Garnet pulled her forward, twirled her easily, and she didn’t resist. It wasn’t that she didn’t participate; she did, with as much energy as she could muster. But when fusing with someone she respected, someone like Garnet or…Rose…she had always preferred to be led. She couldn’t bring herself to speak, concentrating on moving to sync with her partner, her body tense as she held herself in a dramatic arabesque. Garnet’s hand slid down the inside of her outstretched leg from behind, and the other found her hip to move slowly up her chest. Pearl took in a quick gasp as she was suddenly pulled closer. Garnet grabbed each of her hands to spin her around so that they were facing each other, leaving Pearl once again trapped in her own arms. As she was dipped low and their bodies shifted to fuse, her gaze caught for just a moment on Garnet’s lips before they were one, sharing power, sharing weakness.

Even as Sardonyx, they—she—continued to dance, her body moving in ways that neither of them could have accomplished alone. Adept as she was at talking, that wasn’t what the moment called for, so she let herself be lost in thought and movement instead. 

_This feels like completion,_ she thought. _Not small or weak, always just what’s needed when called on.  
_

_Could someone not feel this way alone? People do, lots of people, all the time. Powerful and controlled, filled with agency—  
_

_But not everyone. Some people need to be part of something larger than themselves. Some people need to support or be supported. And,_ she reminded herself, _I’m not a “person,” per se._

She frowned deeply and spun faster still, eyes all tightly shut.

_Even this is only temporary. Even I can’t always be this way. This wonderful, magnificent thing that I am, all the warm feelings and security that come with being me—that all goes away in a flash and then I’m…pieces again.  
_

_Pieces can have lives, too. Pieces can still be useful  
_

_Maybe to make something whole  
_

_No, one their own. Cooperating, but not necessarily **one**. They can be whole just by being together. They all have their own power, their own strength. I can only use parts of that. Even for me, some things get left behind. Sometimes they need to be separate._

Sardonyx paused mid-spin, balancing perfectly at the edge of the platform on which she stood, and opened her eyes. She had never been here before. Part of her appreciated the tranquility, but another part felt it was too open, too unguarded. But for the moment, at least, it was nice to stand still and stay quiet, just admiring the calm beauty of her surroundings. There was more to be said. More to think about. It was unusual for her to feel so peaceful, being used to craving _action_ at all times. Which part was it that liked being there? Or was it all of her? What did it matter? She took a step back, then another, and took a deep breath. Something still felt unresolved. But it also felt like something that would take much more time than she was allowed. Maybe it _would_ be all right to let all her little pieces sort this out together. Separate. But together.

With her heavy exhale, the two gems who had fused to form her separated, but their bodies naturally stayed close; it took a moment for Pearl to orient herself and realize that her lips were pressed against Garnet’s.

“Oh my goodness,” she squealed, hopping back and covering her mouth with both hands. “I-I am so sorry. I don’t know how that, um….”

“It’s all right.” Garnet stepped closer again and pulled her into a hug, simply holding her and being the stability she so often looked for. “I hope this was a start, anyway. You’re strong even if we aren’t fused. If you forget again, talk to me, and I’ll remind you.” Pearl’s arms wrapped quickly around her waist, and she held on tight.

“Thank you. For what it’s worth, being _with_ you is just as good. If not better.”


End file.
